Looking Back on a Life-Changing Purge

Last year this time, my life was a mess. My closet was too.

I didn't know what to do about any of it, knowing that something had to be done, but more often than not, having no ideas of how, or if, to begin.

And then my sister, Courtney, came to town for a visit. I plied her with wine, and suddenly, one evening, she perched on my bed, facing my closet like she was watching a movie. "Just pull everything out, piece by piece, and we'll start here."

How did I know this was the beginning? In short, I didn't. It was just that first something.  I didn't balk -- I listened. And we got started.

Sometimes, you have to first know what you don't want before you know what you do, and for me, that first started with clothes. It's about being conscious, thinking not only how other people saw me, but most of all, how I felt when putting something on. Did I love it? Did it make me feel good about walking though the world? Or did I feel frumpy, or blah? Invisible, or silly, like I was wearing some sort of costume?

What I realized was that most of what I had been putting on was about being on hold, being a place holder, not who I was (whoever that was) and not who I wanted to be, but just there.

You can say that it is just clothing, that it doesn't matter, that I am shallow for even considering my appearance. But you are wrong. I am sorry, but that is not true. For me, it was the start of something, the first step that I didn't even know at the moment was a step in living consciously, of living, instead of reacting.

In that moment, supported by a sister who sat on the edge of my bed on a Saturday night, I decided I just didn't want to be someone "there." That night, on a bed scattered with white metal hangers, she helped me put more than 75% of my clothing into garbage bags, to be donated the next day.

It was stuff given to me, purchased on clearance, left over from events, or different sizes or eras. It was just there, filling the space of what I thought I needed.

Now, 75% is a lot, a space between hangers that had never been there, drawers now easily opened where they have been forced open ... but we discovered clothes that I had, good pieces, that I had never worn because I was waiting. Waiting for what, I didn't know, but whatever, wherever I was living, at that moment, did not deserve that perfectly cut dress. It couldn't possibly.

Getting rid of that many clothes is more than just cleaning out your closet. It is about feeling unsafe without a bloated fullness, of feeling vulnerable with fewer choices, of feeling, well, exposed. And in the next few days, I knew it was freedom.

There was no more wading through -- I could get ready much faster. Every time I left the house, it was in something I enjoyed wearing, not just a filler piece. And the lack that was there started to feel like abundance.

Yes, this dress by Ranna Gill was one of the 25%. I was waiting to wear this. No more.  Plan to see me still wearing this at 81 years old.

The road I've traveled now is long compared to that day, but I've come to embrace fashion as an extension of my personality. It's not that serious, but I always know that it is still a beginning. At this point, that means a beginning of my day's focus. Do I want flirty? Artsy? Meaning business in black stilettos? Going to the beach?

I answer these questions with the 25% percent that somehow feels like more than 100. What is the 25% of your life that is you? How do you begin to make that your 100%?

The rare follow-up article

It's really nice when someone feels that they have talent and I feel they have talent, and then I see them getting accolades for being talented. It kind of makes me feel, although I have done nothing, that I have camaraderie with them, or a small connection. It's that feeling of validation.

Often, when I see people doing creative things that I think are worth telling people about, I pitch a story to an editor about that person. Such was the case for Stephanie Teague, when I read an etsy profile interview with her and realized she was from Greensboro.

So I was off and running -- I have a writing outlet in Greensboro, and I pitched the story to the editor, she fired back questions, and in March of last year, my first article about Stephanie was published in Go Triad. 

For 99 out of 100 profiles, that's the end of the story. But not for this one. The editor (Carla, great personality, sense of humor, and an editor who makes me a better writer --the best kind) called me again recently when a press release about Stephanie crossed her desk. The designer had won a national award, and it was time for a follow up.

So I got to chat with her again, this time about winning the Fffashion Competition, a fur-free fashion design competition promoting the ethical and environmental benefits of foregoing fur fashions. For a profile writer, this is a sweet gig. You've done the research, so you have the background, it's a quick interview, and if you are fortunate and liked the interview the first time, you have the rare opportunity to have a reason to call again. 

Stephanie's winning design

Congrats, Steph! This coming month, look for her at Charlotte Fashion Week and opening up a downtown Greensboro studio ... and as for me, I'll be here at this little desk. Smiling.

The Queen of Boheme

Model:  Anna Lassiter 

Image: Julia Elizabeth Jones Photography

I have never wanted to hug someone I just met more than I wanted to hug Anna Lassiter.

It was her created environment, Eden Boheme, that made me instantly happy and huggy. A few weeks ago, I interviewed the model and fashion designer in her store, Eden Boheme, on lower King Street, and she was genuine and enthusiastic and barefoot elegant. She was the unassuming princess of this great domain, filled with things that made we want to squeal like Shirley Temple: frothy tulle, great flocked wallpapers, a canopy and plush rug and a deliciously decadent couch, not to mention the clothes (!) and the shoes (!) ...

We talked about the intersection of fashion and interior designer and about her upcoming Anna Boheme fashion show that I was previewing for Charleston Scene (read the preview here). It was a great conversation and I could have stayed much longer, talking fabrics and browsing the wares.

She was an emerging designer at this year's Charleston Fashion Week, and I doubt she'll be "emerging" much longer. She's well on her way ...

When I do my little turn on the catwalk

Well, it's fashion week in Charleston, and although I'm actually in Dallas (researching stories) I did have a chance to recently interview a true emerging designer whose designs will walk the Marion Square runway as part of Eden Boheme's show. Her name: Stephanie Teague. Her background: Charlottean, model, Miami maven, and most recently, hot new designer.

She's one of those people that have always cut up their clothes. You know those girls in high school that took the necks out of their sweatshirts or made a dress into a shirt and then used the leftover fabric to make all of her friends bracelets? Well, that was Stephanie. But she kept doing it after high school, learned more about fashion from wearing some of the best designers in the world on the catwalk, and her stuff just kept getting better and better. And now its good, really good.

As part of getting her designs out there, she started a shop on Etsy. She immediately started selling (sorry to the thousands and thousands that this DOESN'T happen to), and now she can barely keep up with demand. And then there is the fashion week thing, and a solo show at New Orleans Fashion Week ...

You can get the whole story here. And if you *ever* ask me "Who are you wearing?" the answer might just be "Stephanie Teague."